It’s been a while…

Haven’t been on tumblr for years… This is my first actual post in two years I believe.

I needed somewhere to rant.

I haven’t felt this lonely in a while.

It’s funny because I was so satisfied because I thought everyone liked me. Slowly but surely, a series of events are breaking down my pride and vanity and revealing that I’m a self-absorbed idiot who no one actually likes because of that. The more I reflect on it, the more I know that I don’t really have anyone who likes me for who I am, because I’m a terrible person. Why would anyone like me? And if he or she does like me, they like me for something else that’s not me… I’m not sure if this makes any sense.

When I tried to compliment a pretty girl today, I guess it came off the wrong way as flirting and me being horny af.

Anything I say comes off wrong. When I told friends to go talk somewhere else because we had praise practice, it came off really rude.

Maybe it’s cause I really am those things.

But one thing’s for sure.

I’m a freaking terrible person. I’m not the perfect little guy that I always think I am. And I’ve hit rock bottom. Emotionally at least.Β I guess school work and college and SAT/ACT stress is piling up on me too, adding to my emotional instability. And huge guilt of sin.

This is where I go back to the start… Where You found me. I surrender. Take me.

Lord I need You…. I’ve fallen so short and never EVER think of You anymore. Selfish of me. I’m so full of myself. I need You. I’m so desperate.

Sigh.

Sometimes I think I’m unable to be changed. I want to believe that I can change though.

God help me.

Hong Kong at night. πŸŒƒ

Hong Kong at night. πŸŒƒ

The man. The myth. The legend. Mr. Thomas. Also known as Bruce Lee because I’m apparently “only Lee.” πŸ˜‚ Chem was so much this year xD βœοΈπŸ”¬πŸ”­ (at CDC)

The man. The myth. The legend. Mr. Thomas. Also known as Bruce Lee because I’m apparently “only Lee.” πŸ˜‚ Chem was so much this year xD βœοΈπŸ”¬πŸ”­ (at CDC)

Best Calcoolus class ever with the best calculus teacher evar. βœοΈπŸ““πŸ“–πŸ˜Ž Everyone skipped today lol (at CALCULUS)

Best Calcoolus class ever with the best calculus teacher evar. βœοΈπŸ““πŸ“–πŸ˜Ž Everyone skipped today lol (at CALCULUS)

Birthday dinner: IchiUmi πŸ˜‹ #17 #coolerthanyou #bigboy #sushi #food (at Ichi Umi)

Birthday dinner: IchiUmi πŸ˜‹ #17 #coolerthanyou #bigboy #sushi #food (at Ichi Umi)

Yesterday. #sistersappreciationday #valentinesday #late

Yesterday. #sistersappreciationday #valentinesday #late

#tbt When I had eyeliner on freshman year lollll

#tbt When I had eyeliner on freshman year lollll

#snow ❄️⛄️

#snow ❄️⛄️

1 01.21.14
#snowselfie LOL I love snow so much πŸ˜Žβ„οΈ

#snowselfie LOL I love snow so much πŸ˜Žβ„οΈ

"We already won the debate because the topic has ‘resolved’ in it." Word. Debate club famiry, had so much fun today! 😁 #debate

"We already won the debate because the topic has ‘resolved’ in it." Word. Debate club famiry, had so much fun today! 😁 #debate

hi followers

i haven’t been on tumblr in years lol how does one use this thing

Commander Jason Fettig, conductor of the U.S. Marine Band. It was awesome to have you as our regional orchestra conductor. 🎻🎼🎢 oh and Rob 😚

Commander Jason Fettig, conductor of the U.S. Marine Band. It was awesome to have you as our regional orchestra conductor. 🎻🎼🎢 oh and Rob 😚

#NYC Skyline on Christmas Night πŸŒƒπŸŽ„

#NYC Skyline on Christmas Night πŸŒƒπŸŽ„

#tbt Mexico Missions. I wonder how the kids are doing… πŸ’­

#tbt Mexico Missions. I wonder how the kids are doing… πŸ’­

Happy birfday to mi madre! I’m so thankful to be able to call you my mother :3 Although I’m not the best son, I’ll always love you as much as you love me. Stay beautiful and wonderful! ☺️ ν•˜λŠ˜λ§ŒνΌ λ•…λ§ŒνΌ μ‚¬λž‘ν•΄μš”~ οΌˆβ‰§∇β‰¦οΌ‰πŸŽ‰

Happy birfday to mi madre! I’m so thankful to be able to call you my mother :3 Although I’m not the best son, I’ll always love you as much as you love me. Stay beautiful and wonderful! ☺️ ν•˜λŠ˜λ§ŒνΌ λ•…λ§ŒνΌ μ‚¬λž‘ν•΄μš”~ οΌˆβ‰§βˆ‡β‰¦οΌ‰πŸŽ‰

1 10.19.13